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Worst Perfect Moment cover

Worst Perfect Moment

by Shivaun Plozza

Recommended

Have you ever gone to take a drink of something, only to realize it's not what you were expecting? Dr. Pepper instead of Coke, iced tea instead of soda, or grain alcohol instead of water? (Was that last one just me in college?)

Even if you genuinely like the thing you wound up with, usually your brain throws up an error. If we attribute it to evolution, your brain likely has some wiring that's always on-guard for suspicious food. It thus sets a baseline, and will alert you via your tastebuds when things don't align. It's almost like you're not tasting the drink at all, you're instead tasting your body's chemical alert system.

I've encountered similar issues when consuming media, especially books. Sometimes it's as simple as I'm not in the right mood to enjoy a serious movie or a silly TV show, even though I normally would be. Other time it's more specific to the media in question, where I go in expecting one thing and get something else completely different. If I was expecting something bad (or not expecting much at all), it's not really an issue. 

If I'm honest, I thought about just omitting this book entirely. I bought it on my own, so I didn't have any obligation to put it up. When I first spied the book, the style in my head was a Ned Vizzini-esque "depressing overall situation from the outside but with light-hearted moments and a unique perspective that, from the inside, isn't so bad."

What I got was more of diary through the depths of grieving your own death (for sake of argument, just trust me that the five stages of grief also apply even when you're grieving yourself). It was a slog (in terms of "spending lots of time exploring," not "boring and drawn-out") through depression, admittedly with some comic relief and tender, lighthearted moments. 

I guess you could technically classify this as a romance, but I don't think doing so benefited the book. It sets a hurdle the book isn't capable of but also is actively uninterested in clearing. It's more than that, richer and admittedly a bit crasser. I moved myself to recommend it after rereading it and realizing the problem wasn't with the book itself so much as my expectations of it. 

Don't bother to explore it if you want for a typical teen romance. Do dive in if you're looking for an emotional read about the breaking and mending (in the same a broken bone heals back stronger) of a family, of a life, of a heart. It's worth braving the depths.

Synopsis

Tegan Masters is dead.  She’s sixteen and she’s dead and she’s standing in the parking lot of the Marybelle Motor Lodge, the single most depressing motel in all of New Jersey and the place where Tegan spent what she remembers as the worst weekend of her life.  In the front office, she meets Zelda, an annoyingly cute teen angel with a snarky sense of humor and an epic set of wings. According to Zelda, Tegan is in heaven, where every person inhabits an exact replica of their happiest memory. For Tegan, Zelda insists, that place is the Marybelle—creepy minigolf course, sad breakfast buffet, filthy swimming pool, and all.  Tegan has a few complaints about this.  When Tegan takes these concerns up with Management, she and Zelda are sent on a whirlwind tour through Tegan’s memories, in search of clues to help her understand what mattered most to her in life. If Zelda fails to convince Tegan (and Management) that the Marybelle was the site of Tegan's perfect moment, both girls face dire eternal consequences. But if she succeeds…they just might get their happily-ever-afterlife. 

Aubrey McFadden is Never Getting Married cover

Aubrey McFadden is Never Getting Married

by Georgia Beers

Highly Recommended

At this point, we can call the "insert the character's full name into the title" thing a trend, yeah? I think it's supposed personalize the story - maybe personify it? Delilah Green Doesn't Care tells us of the main character's disaffection, The Love Curse of Melody McIntyre confirms that the book about drama is going be chock full of melodrama, Astrid Parker is A Huge Bitch Who Should Have Done Some Introspection and Worked On Herself Before Inflicting Herself On Someone Else pretty much nails it.

Whatever the reason, this book is so much better than its cover, title or description. Here's the blurb I would have written (even using their cute little callback cadence game):

10 years after her own marriage ended before it began with her fiance Cody leaving her at the altar, who finds herself picking out dresses to get ready for not one, but five of her friends' weddings scheduled this summer? Aubrey McFadden, that's who. And who's she going to studiously ignore at every single one of them, the "friend" who convinced her fiance that Aubrey wasn't what he really wanted just minutes before they started their forever together? Monica Wallace, that's who. Aubrey hasn't forgiven Monica or Cody, and certainly has no intention of forgetting. Who cares that all her friends say Monica had a thing for Aubrey back when they were all in college? And who's furious that the Life Ruiner always manages to smell like sunshine and warmth? Monica hasn't seen Aubrey since that day she both destroyed destroyed and saved her life, while only trying to help her best friend. But who's trying (and failing) to avoid the person who puts an inexplicable lump in her throat whenever their gazes lock and seem impossible to break? Who doesn't actually want to be avoiding her at all?  Aubrey and Monica, that's who.

I thoroughly enjoyed this journey. It starts off awkward af (is there ever a wedding breakup that isn't?), and I have to state unequivocally for the record that calling someone a "bitch" in anything other than drunken anger actually undercuts the vehemence for me (Molly Weasley to Belllatrix Lestrange, Aubrey to Monica). 

But the sincere and genuine warmth suffused with tension during the gradual of the rapproachment are toes-squeezing-in-your-shoes delightful. The five different weddings provide a nice cadence with sufficient variety to keep things moving and interesting while maintaining a natural connection. Aubrey's coming to terms with her attraction is confusing and delicious, and Monica seems like basically the best. Just an overall lovely book.

Synopsis

All of Aubrey McFadden’s college friends are tying the knot, and she’s been invited to five weddings. Five. In one year. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate so much love and romance? Aubrey, that’s who. She’s going anyway, of course. It’s not her friends’ fault her college boyfriend left Aubrey on the day of their wedding. Lies, selfishness, unhappy surprises…no, thank you. And you know who’s responsible for her permanently single status? Monica, that’s who. Their friends all say Monica Wallace had a thing for Aubrey back then—not that Aubrey cares one little bit why that still makes her heart race. Monica convinced her best friend Cody that marrying Aubrey, settling down, and locking himself into a 9-to-5 at the expense of his dreams would be a huge mistake. Cody called off the wedding, and Aubrey has never forgiven them. Aubrey McFadden is never getting married, but she does have five weddings to attend, and she’ll be avoiding Monica at every single one.

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Girlfriend for the Summer

by Erica Lee

Highly Recommended

In Ten Things I Hate About You, Patrick (Heath Ledger) tries to impress the girl (Julia Stiles) by bribing the marching band to play while he sings "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" over the stadium loudspeaker as he saunters down the truly massive stadium seats during a combined (?) track/soccer practice.

In Netflix's The Prom, Emma "brings attention" to her cause "her own way" by singing an original song on YouTube that racks up 7 million hits overnight.

Now, both of those are movies, so some over-the-top-ness (and visual interest) is required to keep things interesting. But there's a reason I cry every single time I hit that scene in The Prom (on my literal dozens of rewatches) and the scene in Ten Things I Hate About You elicits a chuckle (mostly at Julia Stiles' absolute waterfall of tears), and it's not just my gay little heart empathizing with her plight. It's because I can absolutely see a heartbroken teen pouring herself out in song on the internet much more than I can the detached cool loner type slipping the AV kids money to sing a Frankie Valli song.

Girlfriend for the Summer, a YA book about teens (you've been warned) feels like an experience teens might actually have. (Despite the cover art making the main characters look like they're 30. In the 1970s.) The "big public outpouring of love" is simple, brave and absolutely keeping in line with the character going out on a limb.

I know many of my reviews have a throughline of "groundedness" and "reality," but to me escapism requires verisimilitude. A suspension of disbelief is all well and good, but the characters have to be internally coherent and jibe with the rest of the universe, or it all feels a little pointless. 

It's why you'll likely never see a recommendation for those "billionaire orders bacon at diner and falls in love with waitress" books on here - everyone knows all billionaires are ovo-vegetarian.

Girlfriend for the Summer starts with two comphet straight girls meeting and discovering how much they enjoy each other's company without even realizing why. I can't even rightly call it a slow build, but it's a slow realization and rationalization process (for one of them, at least). Reading this book feels like slowly slipping yourself into a warm pool on a hot summer's day - it shifts from pleasant to wonderful so seamlessly you don't even realize it till you're already in.

If you're not into YA, you may want to give it a pass. There's definitely teen angst (not an inordinate amount for me, but I know some people don't like reading about it). I don't lo-o-o-ve the social power dynamics that come into play between the two at times, but band geek Colby does show backbone and realize her worth at several points, while Mia is appropriately cognizant and honest about her more problematic behavior and actions. I also think the struggles and how they're overcome are beneficial especially to YA readers (but also us older folk as well).

The title, Girlfriend for the Summer, holds a promise with an explicit restriction (it's over in August). I think books tagged as romance, specifically YA books, tend to carry with them similar baggage. It's about teens, romance is all well and good but there's no guarantee of forever. Often we're left at the end with the promise of finality but with the knowledge the characters still have their lives left to live.

But in the same way (this really doesn't count as a spoiler alert) Colby and Mia decide they don't want to be girlfriends just "for the summer," so too do romance books in general (and this one in particular) go beyond that limitation. Because while it is about the story, it's also about the feelings the story inculcates in the reader, how it impacts us. In that way, this book still resonates beyond the last page.

Synopsis

Mia Carmichael has her whole life figured out. From high school royalty to marrying a boy from her hometown to a career in medicine, she can read her future like a map. There’s only one problem: these are actually the things her parents want. That becomes glaringly obvious when she spends the summer with her grandma and meets Colby Rivers. Colby is completely in control of her life. Sort of. She tends to overthink everything and doesn't have many close friends. Yet, when Mia Carmichael shows up, she sees something in Colby that no one else does. But falling for the girl who lives behind her grandma isn’t part of Mia’s plan. It can’t be. Can their relationship ever be more than stolen kisses and secret looks? Do they have a future or is this destined to end with the summer?

Edge of Glory cover

Edge of Glory

by Rachel Spangler

Highly Recommended

I had terrible taste in literature as a child. Growing up, I absolutely devoured Clive Cussler (thanks to his Raise the Titanic novel in my Titanic period, which came before the movie, thank you very much!), Lee Child and, most of all, Tom Clancy. This, despite the fact that it was increasingly obvious to me how formulaic all of these books were. My favorite recurring theme was in Clancy's Net Force series, a series set slightly in the future about an FBI-equivalent of Net Feds.

In each book, the assistant director of said agency would pick up a new martial arts style. Clancy (or, more accurately, the ghost writer) would spend dozens of pages describing this martial art from a clinical, almost Wikpedia-like overview perspective (please note that I'm not accusing anyone of plagiarism, just "being a hack"). Even as a 13-year-old, I found these hours devoted to a constant succession of new martial arts by the deputy director of a national intelligence agency "unlikely."

All of this is to say, as I picked up another Rachel Spangler book to find out this time we were traveling up the mountain with in-depth looks at both alpine skiing and snowboarding, my warning lights went off. After all, the previous books from Spangler I had read were about curling (yes, really, and expect that recommendation up soon!) baseball and the violin. Though they hadn't twigged my "formulaic and inauthentic" alarm, the sheer diversity of topics had me wary.

But let me tell you, I never knew how badly I wanted a lesbian snowboarder/skiing story. She even managed to draw me in despite using the ice queen trope, which marks an absolute first time that's ever happened for me. So often the "haughty and closed-off meets gung-ho wild child" pairing tries to rely on some combination of "actually Ms. Prim and Proper is a big ol' softy" and "the loosey-goosey one has a Thing for authority." But Spangler actually leans into Elise's frostiness to provide a logical attractant for the surfer-vibe snowboarder Corey, and Corey can match her intensity without betraying her character.

Though this book is a bit emotionally rough, with all of the characters sporting plenty of unfinished edges to snag your heartsleeve on, it's tough love in a good way. Everyone changes, most of them grow, and they all stay true to themselves while providing plenty of wit and charm. Though this is the first Spangler book I'm posting, it certainly won't be the last.

Synopsis

Corey LaCroix only wanted to snowboard, but Olympic medals and world championships only carry you so far when your knees ache and you're suddenly an underdog for the first time in her career. Elise Brandeis doesn't need a training partner, especially an unorthodox has-been snowboarder with an attitude. But Elise has already lost a full season to injury, and she's struggling to make the Olympic ski team. Can teaming up with Corey give her the edge she needs to go for gold, or will the snowboarder's infuriatingly cocky smile and rock hard abs prove a distraction she simply can't afford? Both champions brace themselves for the run of a lifetime. Putting their broken bodies on the line, they fight the competition, the clock, and the frozen terrain for one more chance at glory. But this time, as they ride the razor's edge between victory and defeat, the stakes are steeper than any mountain they will ever face when legacies and hearts collide.

Can I Steal You For A Second? cover

Can I Steal You For A Second?

by Jodi McAllister

Must Read

I would watch the hell out of the fictional reality show this set of novels is based on. Marry Me, Juliet is shooting in Australia right as the COVID lockdown hits, and suddenly an already tempestuous situation grows exponentially worse. Author Jodi McAlister has already wrung two books of out of Rashomoning these 6 weeks (with a third about the aftershocks), though sadly this is the only queer entrant in the bunch.

It's weirdly like a queer fantasy reality TV show, despite the fact the in-universe show is actually (and specifically) reinforcing cishet norms, but two lady contestants discover they just can't live without one another. McAlister does a fantastic job with both the main and supporting characters, drawing them really fake enough that they're believable as both people and reality TV characters. Even the characters I disliked on a personal level were narrative positives. And the usual trope-y contrivances are upstaged by literal contrivances courtesy of the producers, making all of it seem completely realistic.

Since I usually go out of my to pick nits, I'll also specifically call out the flaws and hard times faced by both Dylan G. and Mandie as grounded depictions of real struggles that neither go away nor flare up into ridiculousness.

Seriously, I cannot get enough of this book. I've gone back and re-read it twice already, and even picked up the first in the series to get more glimpses of this world. I only wish McAlister would dip back into the queer inkwell again.

The Love Curse of Melody McIntyre cover

The Love Curse of Melody McIntyre

by Robin Talley

Recommended

Review of the Love Curse of Melody McIntyre Stored on Queer Bookshelf server Created by: Reviewer Viewable to: All visitors and readers Editable by: Reviewer Only

Just because you have a neat idea for verisimilitude doesn't mean you need to beat the reader over the head with it.

I enjoy performance. Really, I do. I love theater, specifically musical theater, and I've even been known to jump on stage myself a time or two. So I get that committing to your role is an important part of crafting the experience for the viewer/reader, and the suspension of disbelief.

On the flipside, I also know that committing to use a Scottish accent for Mcbeth* despite the fact that you sound like a Southerner gargling several fidget spinners is more about the actor feeling good about themselves, rather than putting the performance (and the audience) first.

Love Curse is a traditional story broken up in modern epistolary format by Google Drive entries. It's a neat idea that gets wayyy too overused. Seriously, in 2004 they just created the concept of Gmail, no way the class of 2007 was using a school-issued GDrive account to copy and paste the contents of newspaper articles from 1906. Just not happening. Plus the headers (example at the top of this hilarious review) got annoying and introduced far more names than were necessary.

Looking past all that though, Melody is a disaster bi of the highest order, which makes for an entertaining story. After being ostentatiously dumped in the theater control room during the trickiest part of a live performance, the rest of the crew decides that Melody's felicitations will have to be kept under wraps. So of course she meets the Girl of Her Dreams straight (not-so-straight?) away.

There's plenty of YA angst to be found throughout the book, including some nice friend rifts over cliques and stereotypes. There are a weirdly large number of LGBT adults around, but honestly, who's complaining? Love Curse is an thoroughly enjoyable nostalgic paean to high school drama and high school Drama. Theater kids, rejoice and revel. 

Synopsis

Perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli and Nina LaCour, this romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Robin Talley has something for backstage rendezvous, deadly props, and a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to True Love. Melody McIntyre, stage manager extraordinaire, has a plan for everything. What she doesn’t have? Success with love. Every time she falls for someone during a school performance, both the romance and the show end in catastrophe. So, Mel swears off any entanglements until their upcoming production of Les Mis is over. Of course, Mel didn’t count on Odile Rose, rising star in the acting world, auditioning for the spring performance. And she definitely didn’t expect Odile to be sweet and funny, and care as much about the play’s success as Mel. Which means that Melody McIntyre’s only plan now is trying desperately not to fall in love.

Not Just Gal Pals cover

Not Just Gal Pals

by Elizabeth Luly

Recommended

After I finish a really a good book, a funk can set in. In the majority of cases, that's the end of the story. We're not getting any more, and frankly even if we did it wouldn't be as enjoyable as the story we got (unless you start dropping the character in increasingly outlandish scenarios until you finally run out of ideas and have to jump a sports car across the gap between two high-rises in Dubai and it's still not interesting enough). But there's always that feeling of wanting more. Book gluttony?

This is the rare case where I feel like I actually might have liked a little less? It's a good book, not bad by any means, but the dueling narrative approach (where we switch between main characters Blake and Jenny) actually feels a little oversaturated in this case. I enjoy getting both sides of the story, but neither character's dilemmas felt particularly fraught, daunting or even like they concerned them too much.

Legitimately I think the biggest crisis is that Jenny thinks she might run out of money but then doesn't actually even get that far?

This feels a little hypocritical for me to say, given how one of my more frequent nitpicks is when character flaws or drama just pop up out of nowhere, but I didn't really feel a lot of conflict in this book. That's not bad per se, but it means that switching perspectives between the characters mostly just reinforced the fact that there's not really any question they're going to end up together.

Am I seriously complaining about a happy ending? No, of course not! I do enjoy both characters, and the different set pieces (ribald Jane Austen bachelorette party, anyone?) are charming and funny. The pace never really slacks, and I'm interested to pick up the second book in the series. I just hope there's a little more there there, you know?

Synopsis

Jenny Lynton never planned to be an influencer. It just sort of...happened. When an unfortunate post results in Jenny being "almost canceled," she extends her stay in her hometown, Sapphire Springs, New York, to wait out the storm. Her agent suggests a fling with a flannel-wearing lumberjack might be just the thing to distract Jenny. But after a string of disastrous dates, Jenny has sworn off flings. And lumberjacks are in short supply in Sapphire Springs. Lumberjanes, on the other hand... Blake Mitchell is Sapphire Spring's only doctor. She's also had a crush on Jenny since high school. A crush that makes her a socially awkward mess whenever she's around Jenny. Blake moved back home to avoid being hurt by another relationship-there's not exactly a lot of dating options for lesbians in Sapphire Springs-but Blake can't stop thinking about Jenny now she's back in town. When Jenny and Blake are forced to work together to save a friend's bachelorette party, sparks fly. But with Jenny's return to LA a ticking time-bomb, is it wise for them to explore their feelings for each other, or do they risk being hurt yet again?

On the Same Page cover

On the Same Page

by Haley Cass

Must Read

I want to burrow up inside of this book and live there.

Is that a strong enough recommendation?

Serious Haley Cass fans (guilty) will recognize Riley and Gianna from the short story Down to a Science, but it's here in On The Same Page that we learn about the truth and depth of their friendship. The story of how their relationship blossoms and grows is amazing in its own right. You know how sometimes you get jealous of fictional characters? Just me? At any rate, the friendship between these two is absolute goals, and the delightful mix-up that leads to it becoming something more just makes it all the more delicious.

I almost wanted to tag this as enemies-to-lovers, but it's not quite there. Though Gianna is anything but friendly when we first meet her. I don't often feel like the turn from heel character into likeable one is earned in romance novels, but Gianna's transition from damaged/spoiled rich brat to genuinely likeable person is slow and emotionally cogent enough to feel completely honest. And Riley's just a damn delight throughout, though she manages to grow, too.

The only sour note for me in the whole book is Riley's reaction to the Big Revelation, which feels weirdly out of place. Luckily, it's a momentary blip that is entirely ignorable. I mostly just wanted to mention so y'all would know I'm not completely in the tank for this book/author.

If you like queer fiction, especially sapphic, especially especially romance, this one's for you. Read it.

Synopsis

Riley Beckett met Gianna Mäkinen – drop-dead gorgeous influencer, trilingual, daughter of world-famous models, yes, that Gianna Mäkinen – their first year at Boston University, and it changed everything for the both of them. After all, when you find the person who just gets you, nothing feels quite "the same" right? And in the ten years since, Riley has come to depend on Gianna more than anyone else in her life. She knows Gianna just as well as she knows herself – maybe better, some days. She knows Gianna is incredibly sex-positive, she knows Gianna doesn't do romance or relationships, and she knows nothing could ever come between them. This is what makes sense to her, all of this is status-quo. But when a holiday party mix-up sets in motion a domino effect of changes to these previously inalienable truths, Riley has to question everything she thought she knew about their relationship. What, exactly, does Gianna mean to her after all?

Down to a Science cover

Down to a Science

by Haley Cass

Highly Recommended

Honestly, I would support buying this book just based on how it came to be, alone. For Pride Month 2022, IHeartSapphFic (best name ever) got 8 authors to contribute novel/las and released them as part of a set. I expected to get some middling short stories the authors had been toying with but weren't good enough to publish on their own.

Instead, they blew me away in their own right. 

Though I will always be grateful to Down to a Science for setting up the characters for On the Same Page, I find myself fiercely protective of both Mia and Ellie, in different ways. Mia's got a somewhat predictably tragic backstory (in the same way no Disney princesses have mothers, most lesbian romance interests have on average 1.4 dead parents), but it feels true to her character both in how it shaped her life in the broad view as well as how it impacts her in the moment-to-moment. 

Ellie, on the other hand, is another neurospicy character who feels authentic, rather than cheaply staged or exploited, which is both helped and made harder by the fact that (as the book is written from her perspective) we get the full breadth of her thoughts and feelings. Having her whirling emotions helps ground the character in reality, but is an authorially bold move given that too often attempts to write neurodivergent characters wind up missing the mark. However, much like Love is for Losers, Ellie felt real to me in a way that's mildly unnerving, given how much I identify with or at least understand her reactions to different situations.

I promise, this is not intended to be a neurospicy queer book website! But it's nice to see the genre widening out to include more diverse perspectives into the lives of queer people, and I want to celebrate when that's done well. Whether it's neurological differences, race, gender, aro/allo, it's a legitimate cause for joy when media is created that allows people to feel seen. And this book has that, well, down to a science. 😉

Synopsis

Ellie Beckett’s life is simple and uncomplicated; she’s on track to become a leading expert in biomedical engineering, she has a pub where she feels comfortable enough to hang out multiple times a week, and, so what if she doesn’t have time for… people? She doesn’t need or want them. Until she meets Mia Sharpe. As it it turns out, maybe Ellie does want at least one person.

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In the Long Run

by Haley Cass

Recommended

What does your hometown mean to you? I struck out for college at age 18 and have only returned to my (not-so-quaint anymore) little town maybe 3 or 4 times in the succeeding two decades. It's grown and prospered to the point where it's barely recognizable anymore - sure, I know some of the landmarks, but even those seem to have sprouted the generic "apartments on the top, commercial underneath brick facade" block-length buildings that have come to define 21st century architecture.

But, if asked, I'd still say it's where I'm from. 

That seems odd to me. Your hometown shapes you, in ways good and bad. It provides the backdrop for your early life yes, but it also dictates what types of people and experiences you're exposed to, the values you're inculcated with, and the cast of characters populating your life definitely makes huge impacts on who you turn out to be as a person.

The title of In the Long Run sort presupposes that our hometowns are responsible for the desire paths in our lives, whether we choose to follow the freshly poured sidewalk (main character Brooke) or venture off on our own (love interest Taylor). Brooke is a no-nonsense town manager who gets (adorably) flustered when confronted with things outside her control. She's lived in Faircombe all her life, and has no desire to reach beyond it; wanting to contribute back to the positive feedback loop she feels the town has given her.

Taylor, by contrast, is a free spirit, a travel blogger (this book being released in the depths of Covid is either hugely fortunate or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) who feels restless whenever it feels like anything resembling roots have started to take hold. Given her upbringing and experience with the town, this diametrically opposed view seems entirely justified.

The same general circumstances, even interactions among the same family, can produce drastically different people. We are not who our history forces us to be, but our history does influence who we decide to become. 

I will admit this story took me a second re-read to really appreciate some of the depth and layering that goes into the character and town. I'm not sure if it's for everybody - there's an awwwwful lot of town business in these pages, and not usually in the fun Pawnee way. But the way these characters interact with one another, grow and change, provides a pleasant perk of perusal. 

Synopsis

Free-spirited and easygoing Taylor Vandenberg left her hometown of Faircombe, Tennessee as soon as she could, and in the twenty-five years since, she has rarely looked back. She wouldn’t change anything about how her life has turned out – having traveled to nearly every country, never staying anywhere long enough to feel stifled. Very few things can hold her attention back in Faircombe: her sister/best friend, her precocious niece, and perhaps the prospect of riling up Brooke Watson. Brooke has known Taylor for her entire life, given that her best friend is Taylor’s younger brother. And a lifelong knowledge of Taylor means that Brooke knows she’s trouble: irresponsible, takes nothing seriously, and is irritatingly attractive. Unlike Taylor, Brooke loves their town so much that she’s spent her adult life dedicated to making sure it doesn’t get swept away like many of the other declining small cities of the American South. Faircombe means the world to her, and she’s willing to do just about anything to make sure it flourishes. Even if it means working with Taylor, whose path seems to continuously be crossing with Brooke’s everywhere she turns…

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Love at First Set

by Jennifer Dugan

Highly Recommended

I so did not expect to like this book! As someone with a definitely not made up allergy to gym equipment and exercise, I was not expecting to like the strong ladies book. But oh my gosh, did you know that the strongest muscle is the heart (it's actually your jaw, or your uterus, or your butt, or your eye, or your tongue, or the heart, depending on your definition of "strongest") and this one's working overtime.

This doesn't really count as a spoiler because it's in the description, but Lizzie's drunken bathroom pep talk is so inspiring, funny and touching I almost went and broke up some weddings myself. It's just that good.

Lizzie comes across as a real person, with lots of insecurities owing to how she grew up that she mostly manages to shove away. Both James and Cara are absolute wankers at times (James early and often, Cara once or twice but at exactly the wrong times), but in Cara's case it's easy to see her redeeming values as to why Lizzie would fall in love with her (and vice versa).

I don't know, y'all, I just love Lizzie's energy. She's a disaster gay, through and through, but because her heart's in the right place (and it's so strong) she always manages to rack 'em after pounding out that last set. You'd have to be a dumb belle not to like this book. Do not weight to pick it up. Alright, much like Lizzie I might be too tipsy for this (despite drinking squat) and need to bail before I (bench) press my luck. It's definitely worth curl-ing up with.

Synopsis

The gym is Lizzie’s life—it’s her passion, her job, and the only place that’s ever felt like home. Unfortunately, her bosses consider her a glorified check-in girl at best, and the gym punching bag at worst. When their son, Lizzie’s best friend, James, begs her to be his plus one at his perfect sister Cara’s wedding, things go wrong immediately, and culminate in Lizzie giving a drunken pep talk to a hot stranger in the women’s bathroom—except that stranger is actually the bride-to-be, and Lizzie has accidentally convinced her to ditch her groom. Now, newly directionless Cara is on a quest to find herself, and Lizzie—desperate to make sure her bosses never find out her role in this fiasco—gets strong-armed by James into “entertaining” her. Cara doesn’t have to know it’s a setup; it’ll just be a quick fling before she sobers up and goes back to her real life. After all, how could someone like Cara fall for someone like Lizzie, with no career and no future? But the more Lizzie gets to know Cara, the more she likes her, and the bigger the potential disaster if any of her rapidly multiplying secrets get out. Because now it’s not just Lizzie’s job and entire future on the line, but also the girl of her dreams.

Maybe a glimmer of recognition in "disaster gay"? WHO CAN TELL

Delilah Green Doesn't Care cover

Delilah Green Doesn't Care

by Ashley Herring Blake

Must Read

I think I have abandonment issues with really good books. Think about it! Every book you've ever loved, ever craved to wedge yourself between the lines and live among the fictional world, is finite. Even as part of an ever-sprawling series, inevitably you get to the last page of the last chapter of the last page ... and it's over. 

Both the titular Delilah Green and her love interest, Claire, seem to have (justifiable) abandonment issues of their own. Delilah (dead parent alert!) hasn't had any family to rely on since she was young, so she books it to NYC as soon as she can and stays there. She's only brought back by the lure of much-needed cash from wicked stepsister Astrid Parker, but she's coming and going just as fast as she does in any relationship - quickly, and without remorse.

That is, until she meets one of Astrid's BFFs, Claire. Suddenly she's consumed by the thoughts of this girl and her manic pixie dream daughter, and just mayyybe it's enough to keep her sticking around ...  

Isn't it useful how the Lothario, only-in-it-for-themselves types always turn out to have secret mushy hearts that just need the right queer person unlock them?

I jest! Things can be tropes simply because they happen often, not because they were written to follow said trope. Delilah is a wonderfully fleshed-out character, and the progression in all the relationships feels justified and well-earned. And hey, who can blame Delilah? I'd stick around and shack up with Claire if only I knew she wouldn't leave me before the acknowledgments.

Oh, Claire. We could have been so good together. Instead, I'll just have recommend others spend their time with you and hope that can satisfy your insatiable craving.

Synopsis

A clever and steamy queer romantic comedy about taking chances and accepting love—with all its complications—from the author of Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail. Delilah Green swore she would never go back to Bright Falls—nothing is there for her but memories of a lonely childhood where she was little more than a burden to her cold and distant stepfamily. Her life is in New York, with her photography career finally gaining steam and her bed never empty. Sure, it’s a different woman every night, but that’s just fine with her.     When Delilah’s estranged stepsister, Astrid, pressures her into photographing her wedding with a guilt trip and a five-figure check, Delilah finds herself back in the godforsaken town that she used to call home. She plans to breeze in and out, but then she sees Claire Sutherland, one of Astrid’s stuck-up besties, and decides that maybe there’s some fun (and a little retribution) to be had in Bright Falls, after all.    Having raised her 11-year-old daughter mostly on her own while dealing with her unreliable ex and running a bookstore, Claire Sutherland depends upon a life without surprises. And Delilah Green is an unwelcome surprise…at first. Though they’ve known each other for years, they don’t really know each other—so Claire is unsettled when Delilah figures out exactly what buttons to push. When they’re forced together during a gauntlet of wedding preparations—including a plot to save Astrid from her horrible fiancé—Claire isn’t sure she has the strength to resist Delilah’s charms. Even worse, she’s starting to think she doesn’t want to...

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail cover

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail

by Ashley Herring Blake

Recommended, Maybe

Astrid Parker is kind of a bitch.

I'm sorry, she is? I'm understanding about people growing up in bad situations (truly, the overall family dynamic as well as how specifically her mother treats her was and is pretty bad), and needing to grow, but Astrid just ... doesn't?

I mean, we literally spent an entire book blowing up her wedding because she was marrying some (presumably) MAGA chump (forced it into it by her mother) who thought he should buy a house several hours away without telling his fiancee and ... didn't see it? Didn't care? Hard to tell, really.

But that wasn't enough! Even though Astrid Parker has already Failed, she's determined to make her interior design business (forced into by her mother) succeed by renovating a historic old B&B on some home renovation show. But the carpenter/contractor, Jordan, has her own ideas. Better ideas. They're just straight-up better. It took Jordan almost no time to come up with them. Astrid Parker is almost entirely superfluous. But we can't say that because .... reasons?

Look, I know contrivances are part and parcel for genre novels, especially romance. But that on top of Astrid just being a straight-up dick most of the time really made me struggle to finish this book. I have absolutely no idea what Jordan saw in her other than 🔥, and that doesn't always come through in books, y'know?

It's not bad writing! It's just an annoying character. I can recommend this book out of completeness' sake for the Bright Falls series, but otherwise there are plenty of other, better options for your time. And Jordan, you can do so. Much. Better.

Synopsis

For Astrid Parker, failure is unacceptable. Ever since she broke up with her fiancé a year ago, she’s been focused on her career—her friends might say she’s obsessed, but she knows she’s just driven. When Pru Everwood asks her to be the designer for the Everwood Inn’s renovation, which will be featured on a popular HGTV show, Innside America, Astrid is thrilled. Not only will the project distract her from her failed engagement and help her struggling business, but her perpetually displeased mother might finally give her a nod of approval.    However, Astrid never planned on Jordan Everwood, Pru’s granddaughter and the lead carpenter for the renovation, who despises every modern design decision Astrid makes. Jordan is determined to preserve the history of her family’s inn, particularly as the rest of her life is in shambles. When that determination turns into some light sabotage to ruffle Astrid’s perfect little feathers, the showrunners ask them to play up the tension. But somewhere along the way, their dislike for each other evolves into something quite different, and Astrid must decide what success truly means. Is she going to pursue the life that she’s expected to lead or the one that she wants?

Iris Kelly Doesn't Date cover

Iris Kelly Doesn't Date

by Ashley Herring Blake

Highly Recommended

Y'all, I struggled with this one a bit. There are so many conflicting emotions going on in my brain right now.

Looking at it holistically, it's the third in a series. Delilah Green was excellent, Astrid Parker didn't really do it for me. Iris Kelly is sort of inbetween, leaning toward Delilah, a bit?

I'll say this, Blake can write characters. I loved Iris Kelly, the bold and brassy lass of Irish descent whose temper is as fiery as her passion. Her family is ... verging on unbelievable? I don't know that there's a likable older parent in this series, but Iris' mom is almost worse than Astrid's and Delilah's. This all actually would cohere a lot better if I believed that we were supposed to be filtering our perceptions through Iris' slanted, tempestuously-colored eyes, but I don't get that sense. I think we're supposed to take literally that her mom is condescending to the point of seeming like a negging pick-up artist, and her family is just a ball of uncontrollable.

And Stevie is wonderful, too, in her own way. But also just this side of realistic? I truly don't know how one could exist as a successful actor being that much of a doormat to everyone around them. Flaws are fine, but enough cracks in the mirror and it's a bit hard to actual understand what's being reflected back.

But they make sense together. Maybe the trick is to not assume this is set in our universe, but in one slightly removed. If you can put aside the absurdity of nearly every situation our fierce females face, their story and connection is one that can make your heart sing (or get up on stage and prance around in a donkey's head, as required). I think most people can suspend their disbelief to get to the goodness at the core of the novel, but I won't pretend it comes without effort.

Synopsis

Everyone around Iris Kelly is in love. Her best friends are all coupled up, her siblings have partners that are perfect for them, her parents are still in marital bliss. And she’s happy for all of them, truly. So what if she usually cries in her Lyft on the way home. So what if she misses her friends, who are so busy with their own wonderful love lives, they don’t really notice Iris is spiraling. At least she has a brand-new career writing romance novels (yes, she realizes the irony of it). She is now working on her second book but has one problem: she is completely out of ideas after having spent all of her romantic energy on her debut. Perfectly happy to ignore her problems as per usual, Iris goes to a bar in Portland and meets a sexy stranger, Stefania, and a night of dancing and making out turns into the worst one-night stand Iris has had in her life (vomit and crying are regretfully involved). To get her mind off everything and overcome her writer's block, Iris tries out for a local play, but comes face-to-face with Stefania—or, Stevie, her real name. When Stevie desperately asks Iris to play along as her girlfriend, Iris is shocked, but goes along with it because maybe this fake relationship will actually get her creative juices flowing and she can get her book written. As the two women play the part of a couple, they turn into a constant state of hot-and-bothered and soon it just comes down to who will make the real first move…

When You Least Expect It cover

When You Least Expect It

by Haley Cass

Must Read

It sounds like the cheapest of plot devices - divorce attorney meets latebian with asshole ex-husband. And wouldn't you know it, the ex-hubby used to work at the same firm! 

But oh my gosh, it goes beyond the tropes and the clichés. It's a slow-burn love story where, yeah, you can tell that Caroline (the main character) has a crush on Hannah. She admits it to herself at first, but then they build an honest friendship and (slight spoilers) even a little family, as Caroline met and charmed Abby (Hannah's little girl) when she was stuck at the office on weekends.

It's just so charming and endearing I want to completely melt every time I read it.

The slowest of slow burns? Absolutely. But it feels so earned and so, so rewarding when she finally gets her gal.

Legitimately the best way to impart how much I thoroughly enjoy the book is to admit that I own on Kindle, in paperback and audiobook - and I've read/listened to all of them more than once. Per year.

It's the best of what romance has to offer, whether in literary or real-world form. Did I mention it's also a CHRISTMAS romance? Seriously, this book is everything you'd want in a romance novel. Deep, abiding friendship; mutual respect; an all-encompassing love that suffuses both of their lives. I promise you'll find yourself striving to reach the warmth you'll find within.

Synopsis

Caroline Parker knows three things to be true. First, she is going to be Boston's most sought after divorce attorney by thirty-five. Second, given how terrible her romantic track record is, falling in love isn't in the cards for her. And third, Christmas only brings her bad luck - being broken up with not once, not twice, but three times during the holidays is proof enough of that. When she runs into Hannah Dalton on Christmas Eve, she has no reason to believe her luck will change. After all, though Hannah is probably the most gorgeous woman she’s ever seen, she’s also straight. And married to Caroline’s work rival. While being hired by Hannah throws her for a loop, winning a divorce case and sticking it to her ex-colleague should be enough of a thrill. But as the months slip by, bringing her closer to both Hannah and her adorable daughter Abbie, the lines between attorney and client begin to blur. And she could have never predicted just how much she wants them to.

The Ride of Her Life cover

The Ride of Her Life

by Jennifer Dugan

Recommended

Look, "disaster queer" is a real-life trope we all know and probably embody to some extent, but it exists for a reason. And boy, "hot mess" does not even begin to describe what goes down in this book. Every character has more issues than your average grandparent's National Geographic collection ("it'll be worth something someday!"), to the point of you might find yourself wishing for appendices to keep everything straight.

If I'm being honest, I felt more than a little personally attacked by some of the problems plaguing Molly McDaniel. Her biggest issue, as the book memorably puts it, is that Molly "makes someone else her IPA" - that is, she transforms herself in order to fit neatly into the life of whomever she's dating at the time (in the case of the IPA, Shoni, the love interest, bought a home-brewing kit to impress her IPA-loving lady friend). 

So I can't really fault the realism there! The sheer depth of the characters drew me in certainly, but I will say at times it left me flailing my arms trying to stay afloat. Like, it's mildly difficult to keep track of everyone's issues? If every wall is an accent wall, you're actually lacking a primary color. Similarly, if every character is presented as a prickly patch of insecurities, it makes it more difficult to savor or even appreciate the juicy, fruity parts. And with so many unresolved issues just hanging off everyone's shoulders, the book's ending feels a bit rushed and left far too many burdens on my poor little brain and heart.

All that being said, it's a very emotional, complex novel that demands you sit with it for a bit. You can rush through it, of course, but I think you'll feel better afterwards if you pace and give it the time it deserves. I don't know that I'd recommend it for those looking for lighthearted romantic fare, but it's a solid work that should manage to hit you in the feels.

Synopsis

Molly McDaniel's life is falling apart. Between her day job as a barista, her night job at a call center, and her crushing student loans, she's barely getting by. And that dream she has of starting a wedding event planning business? The dream that led to all those student loan in the first place? She can feel it slipping farther and farther out of reach every day. So the absolute last thing she needs is to discover she's inherited a run-down, struggling horse barn out of the blue, courtesy of her estranged late aunt. Molly is so ill-equipped to run the barn, it's laughable. She certainly doesn't have the money, time or knowledge needed to save it, no matter how much faith everyone who loved her aunt has that she will. But the more Molly gets involved, the more she starts to wonder: maybe the barn is a blessing in disguise. If she can sell the land, the profits could be the small-business seed money miracle she's been waiting for. So what if she's starting to love everyone in the mismatched family she's found here? Well, everyone except Shani, the resident farrier and family friend who took care of Molly's aunt in her last days. Judgmental, grouchy Shani, who refuses to give up on the barn; who walks around like she so much better than Molly; who's actually really good with the horses...and kind of thoughtful. And obnoxiously hot. And unfailingly loyal. And suddenly, Shani has become an entirely different kind of problem, one Molly can't possibly solve, not without risking her whole future, no matter how much her heart wishes she could.

Boys Don't Dance cover

Boys Don't Dance

by Ivy Whitaker

Recommended

**There are so many expectations bound up in this book. **

From a plot standpoint, our author heroine (Lyra, a name I absolutely love) flees sunny California for the rundown mid-Atlantic foothills of Pennsylvania when her sister falls victim to a stroke. Lyra tries to meet the expectations of being a devoted sister as best she can, while also trying to stave off what's expected of a multiple-time best-selling author after a flop (namely: Write more, better).

This, of course, is complicated when she runs into her childhood best friend/love, Alex. Alex has not only felt the weight of the expectations of others, she has flat-out surrendered to them. Her mother expected her to marry a man and live the life of a stay-at-home mom, and only upon reacquainting herself with the force that is Lyra does she start to realize the crushing burdens of those expectations. 

This book felt challenging - In a good way, mind you! But by no means an easy or breezy read.

Part of that, I think, lay in the expectations on my part. Expectations affect everything we do, from consuming media to consuming food to how we relate to other people. If we have an expectation, even if we don't realize it ourselves, failing to have that expectation met can leave you feeling off-kilter, or disappointed.

To put it bluntly, I expected a simple sapphic romance. It's more than that! Better in many ways, with lyrical prose and extremely vivid depictions of emotions and connection. And certainly much deeper in terms of the difficult subject matter it deals with.

But in its (successful, in my eyes) aspirations to literary fiction, the novel's insistence on hitting some of the simplistic romance tropes felt forced. I think the book would have worked much better had it simply shed its romance-constrained plot points and just kept exploring and exposing its beating heart, which was otherwise mesmerizing.

Expectations are a double-edged sword. I've no doubt "sapphic romance" has some advantages for marketing purposes, and with that designation comes certain expectations. I just think this book is better than that, and I'm only sorry it seems to try shape itself to a form it has clearly outgrown. 

All that said, this book is a lovely, wonderful piece of work. And I truly can't wait to see what the author will do next.

This review is for an advanced reader copy of the book, provided by the publisher.

Synopsis

Lyra Moreno's life has fallen apart. Her latest book was a literary flop, and her on-again-off-again relationship was, again, off. When her sister suffers a stroke, Lyra returns to her small hometown to temporarily run her sister’s dance studio. Lyra hopes the familiar setting will help heal her wounds and distract her from the pressures of a relentless agent, hungry publicists, and the curious public. It might have worked if she hadn’t run into an old flame—Alexis Marsh, now Alexis Cole. Alexis’s worst fear was coming true—turning out like her mother. She followed the tried and true formula to happiness a handsome husband with a great job, two kids, a beautiful house, and a homemaker lifestyle. She should be happy. She is happy. Her carefully curated reality begins to crumble when a ghost from her past breezes Lyra Moreno. Her high school sweetheart and first love—a person she had convinced herself had been little more than a minor character in a passing phase. So why does she feel the need to prove she’s happy?

An image promoting my improv for developers workshop at Beer City CodeI'm headed back to the Midwest to do some speakerizing again in August 2024.

Beer City Code 24**** is in Grand Rapids, MI, on Aug 2-3. I'm super excited to present a workshop, Improv for Developers, which is where we'll do actual improv training and then talk about how those skills translate to software development. It's 6 hours (!!), but it should be a lot of fun!

I'll also talk about greenfield development: specifically, that it doesn't really exist anymore. There are always preexisting considerations you're going to have to take into account, so I'll give some hard-won tips on sussing them out.

DevUp will be held in St. Louis on Aug. 14-16. I'll be talking about greenfields again, as well as reasons scrum-based development tends to fail, and how we can measure developer productivity.

Hope to see you this summer!

YES, AND you also have to write documentation or no one will know what the hell you were thinking when you wrote it.

Though I am no great fan of AI or its massively over-hyped potential, I also do not think it's useless. As Molly White put it:

When I boil it down, I find my feelings about AI are actually pretty similar to my feelings about blockchains: they do a poor job of much of what people try to do with them, they can't do the things their creators claim they one day might, and many of the things they are well suited to do may not be altogether that beneficial.

I wholeheartedly agree with those claims, and don't want to get into the specifics of them too much. Instead, I wanted to think out loud/write about why there's such a wide range of expectations and opinions on the current and future states of AI.

To get the easy one out of the way: Many of the most effusive AI hype people are in fit for the money. They're raising venture capital by saying AI, they're trying to get brought in as consultants on AI, or they're trying to sell their AI product to businesses and consumers. I don't think that's a particularly new phenomenon when it comes to new technology, though perhaps there is some novelty in how many different ways people are attempting to get their slice of the cake (companies cooking up AI models, apps trying to sell AI generation to consumers, hardware and cloud providers selling the compute necessary to do all of the above, etc.).

But once we take pure profit motive out of the way, there are I think two key areas of difference in people who believe in AI wholeheartedly and those who are neutral to critical.

The first is software development experience. Those who understand what it actually means when people say "AI is thinking" tend to have an overall more pessimistic view of the pinnacle of current AI generation strategies. In a nutshell, all of the current generative models try to ingest as much content of whatever thing they're going to be asked to output. Then, they are given a "prompt," and they are (in simplistic terms) trying to piece together an image/string of words/video that looks most likely based on what came for.

This is why these models "hallucinate" - they don't "know" anything specifically in the way you know that Washington, DC is the capital of the United States. It just knows that when a sentence starts "The capital of the United States is" it usually ends with the words "Washington, DC."

And that can be useful in some instances! This is why AI does very well on low-level coding tasks - a lot of the basics of programming is pretty repetitive and pattern-based, so an expert pattern-matcher can do fairly well at guessing the most likely outcome. But it's also why AI developer assistants produce stupid mistakes, because it doesn't "understand" the syntax or the language or even the problem statement as a fundamental unit of knowledge. It simply reads a string of text and tries to figure out what would most likely come next.

The other thing you learn from experience are edge cases, and specifically what doesn't work. This type of knowledge tends to accumulate only through having worked on a product before, and understanding how different pieces come together (or don't). AI lacks this awareness of context, focusing only what immediately surrounds the section it's working on.

But the other primary differentiator is for the layperson, who can best be understood as a consumer and it can be condensed to a single word: Taste.

I'm reminded of a quote from Ira Glass I heard on some podcast:

... all of us who do creative work … we get into it because we have good taste. But it’s like there’s a gap, that for the first couple years that you’re making stuff, what you’re making isn’t so good, OK? It’s not that great. It’s really not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not quite that good. But your taste — the thing that got you into the game — your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you ...

I think this is true, and I think it's the biggest differentiator between people who think what AI is capable of right now is perfectly fine and those that think it'll all wind up being a waste of time. People who can't or are unwilling create text/images/videos on their own think that AI is a great shortcut. This is either because the quality of what the AI can produce is better than what they can do unassisted, or they don't have the taste to see the difference in the first place.

I don't know that I think there's a way to bridge that gap any more than there is to explain to people who think that criticism of any artform is "unfair" or that "well, could you do any better?" is a valid counterpoint to cultural criticism. There are simply those people whose taste is better than that what can be created only through an amalgamation of data used to train a model, and those who think that a simulacrum of art is indistinguishable (or better) than the real thing.

It's amazing how short my attention span for new fads is anymore. I don't want to blame Trump for this one, but my eagerness to ignore any news story he was involved in definitely accelerated the decline of my willingness to cognitively engage with the topic du jour significantly.

Software requirements are rather straightforward - if we look at the requirements document, we see simple, declarative statements like "Users can log out," or "Users can browse and create topics." And that's when we're lucky enough to get an actual requirements document.

This is not legal advice

None of the following is intended to be legal advice. I am not a lawyer, have not even read all that many John Grisham novels, and am providing this as background for you to use. If you have actual questions, please take them to an actual lawyer. (Or you can try calling John Grisham, but I doubt he'd pick up.)

But there are other requirements in software engineering that aren't as cut-and-dried. Non-functional requirements related to things like maintainability, security, scalability and, most importantly for our purposes, legality.

For the sake of convenience, we're going to use "regulations" and other derivations of the word to mean "all those things that carry the weight of law," be they laws, rules, directives, court orders or what have you.

Hey, why should I care? Isn't this why we have lawyers?

Hopefully your organization has excellent legal representation. Also hopefully, those lawyers are not spending their days watching you code. That's not going to be fun for them or you. You should absolutely use lawyers as a resource when you have questions or aren't sure if something would be covered under a specific law. But you have to know when to ask those questions, and possess enough knowledge when your application could be running afoul of some rule or another.

It's also worthwhile to your career to know these things! Lots of developers don't, and your ability to point them out and know about them will make you seem more knowledgeable (because you are!). It will also make you seem more competent and capable than another developer who does not – again, because you are! This stuff is a skillset just like knowing Django.

While lawyers may be domain experts, they aren't always (especially at smaller organizations) and there are lots of regulations that specifically cover technology/internet-capable software that domain experts likely would not (and should not) be expected to be on top of. Further, if you are armed with foreknowledge, you don't have to wait for for legal review after the work has been completed.

Also, you know, users are people, too. Most regulations wind up being bottom-of-the-barrel expectations that user data is safeguarded and restricting organizations from tricking users into doing things they wouldn't have otherwise. In the same way I would hope my data and self-determination are respected, I also want to do the same for my users.

Regulatory environments

The difference in the regulatory culture between the US and the European Union is vast. I truly cannot stress how different they are, and that's an important thing to know about because it can be easy to become fluent in one and assume the other is largely the same. It's not. Trust me.

United States

The US tends, for the most part, to be a reactionary regulator. Something bad happens, laws or rules (eventually) get written to stop that thing from happening again.

Also, the interpretations of those rules tend to fluctuate more than in the EU, depending on things seemingly as random as which political party is in power (and controlling the executive branch, specifically) or what jurisdiction a lawsuit is filed in. We will not go in-depth into those topics, for they are thorny and leave scars, but it's important to note. The US also tends to give wide latitude to the defense of, "but it's our business model!" The government will not give a full pass on everything, but they tend to phrase things in terms of "making fixes" rather than "don't do that."

Because US regulations tend to be written in response to a specific incident or set of incidents, they tend for the most part to be very narrowly tailored or very broad ("e.g., TikTok is bad, let's give the government the ability to jail you for 20 years for using a VPN!"), leaving little guidance to those of us in the middle. This leaves lots of room for unintended consequences or simply failing to achieve the stated goals. In 2003, Congress passed the CAN-SPAM Act to "protect consumers and businesses from unwanted email." As anyone who ever looks at their spam box can attest, CAN-SPAM's acronym unfortunately seems to have meant "can" as in "grant permission," not "can" as in "get rid of."

European Union

In contrast, the EU tends to issue legislation prescriptively; that is, they identify a general area of concern, and then issue rules about both what you can and cannot do, typically founded in some fundamental right.

This technically is what the US does on a more circumspect level, but the difference is the right is the foundational aspect in the EU, meaning it's much more difficult to slip through a loophole.

From a very general perspective, this leads to EU regulations being more restrictive in what you can and can't do, and the EU is far more willing to punish punitively those companies who run afoul of the law.

Global regulations

There are few regulations that apply globally, and usually they come about backwards - in that a standard is created, and then adopted throughout the world.

Accessibility

In both the US and the EU, the general standard for digital accessibility is WCAG 2.1, level AA. If your website or app does not meet (most) of that standard, and you are sued, you will be found to be out of compliance.

In the US, the reason you need to be compliant comes from a variety of places. The federal government (and state governments) need to be compliant because of the Rehabilitation Act of 1974, section 508. Entities that receive federal money (including SNAP and NSF grants) need to be compliant because of the RA of 1974, section 504. All other publicly accessible organizations (companies, etc.) need to have their websites compliant because of the Americans with Disabilities Act and various updates. And all of the above has only arisen through dozens of court cases as they wound their way through the system, often reversing each other or finding different outcomes with essentially the same facts. And even then, penalties for violating the act are quite rare, with the typical cost being a) the cost of litigation, and b) the cost of remediation and compliance (neither of which are small, but they're also not punitive, either).

In the EU, they issued the Web Accessibility Directive that said access to digital information is a right that all persons, including those with disabilities, should have, so everything has to be accessible.

See the difference?

WCAG provides that content should be

  • Perceivable - Your content should be able to be consumed in more than one of the senses. The most common example of this is audio descriptions on videos (because those who can't see the video still should be able to glean the relevant information from it).

  • Operable - Your content should usable in more than one modality. This most often takes the form of keyboard navigability, as those with issues of fine motor control cannot always handle a mouse dextrously.

  • Understandable - Your content should be comprehensible and predictable. I usually give a design example here, which is that the accessibility standard actually states that your links need to be perceivable, visually, as links. Also, the "visited" state is not just a relic of CSS, it's actually an accessibility issue for people with neurological processing differences who want to be able to tell at a glance what links they've already been to.

Robust - Very broadly, this tenet states you should maximize your compliance with accessibility and other web standards, so that current and future technologies can take full advantage of them without requiring modification to existing content.

Anyway, for accessibility, there's a long list of standards you should be meeting. The (subjectively) more important ones most frequently not followed are:

  1. Provide text alternatives for all non-text content: This means alt text for images, audio descriptions for video and explainer text for data/tables/etc. Please also pay attention to the quality – the purpose of the text is to provide a replacement for when the non-text content can't be viewed, so "picture of a hat" is probably not an actual alternative.

  2. Keyboard control/navigation: Your site should be navigable with a keyboard, and all interactions (think slideshows, videos) should be controllable by a keyboard.

  3. Color contrast: Header text should have a contrast ratio of 3:1 between the foreground and background; smaller text should have a ratio of 4.5:1.

  4. Don't rely on color for differentiation: You cannot rely solely on color to differentiate between objects or types of objects. (Think section colors for a newspaper website: You can't just have all your sports links be red, it has to be indicated some other way.)

  5. Resizability: Text should be able to be resized up to 200% larger without loss of content or functionality

  6. Images of text: Don't use 'em.

  7. Give the user control: You can autoplay videos or audio if you must, but you also have to give the user the ability to stop or pause it.

There are many more, but these are the low-hanging fruit that lots of applications still can't manage to pick off

PCI DSS

The Payment Card Industry Data Security Standard is a set of standards that govern how you should store credit card data, regulated by credit card companies themselves. Though some individual US states require adherence to the standards (and fine violators appropriately), federal and EU law does not require you to follow these standards (at least, not specifically these standards). However, the credit card companies themselves can step in and issue fines or, more critically, cut off access to their payment networks if they find the breaches egregious enough.

In most cases, organizations offload their payment processing to a third party (e.g., Stripe, Paypal), who is responsible for maintaining compliance with the specification. However, you as the merchant or vendor need to make sure you’re storing the data from those transactions in the manner provided by the payment processor; it’s not uncommon to find places that are storing too much data on their own infrastructure that technically falls under the scope of PCI DSS.

Some of the standards are pretty basic - don’t use default vendor passwords on hardware and software, encrypt your data transmissions. Some are more involved, like restricting physical access to cardholder data, or monitoring and logging access to network resources and data.

EU regulations

GDPR

The EU's General Data Privacy Regulation caused a big stir when it was first released, and for good reason. It completely changed the way that companies could process and store user data, and severely restricted what sort of shenanigans companies can get up to.

The GDPR states that individuals have the right to not have their information shared; that individuals should not have to hand over their information in order to access goods or services; and that individuals have further rights to their information even once it's been handed over to another organization.

For those of us on the side of building things, it means a few things are now requirements that used to be more "nice-to-haves."

  • You must get explicit consent to collect data If you're collecting data on people, you have to explicitly ask for it. You have to specify exactly what information you're collecting, the reason you're collecting it, how long you plan on storing it and what you plan to do with it (this is the reason for the proliferation of all those cookie banners a few years ago). Furthermore, you must give your users the right to say no. You can't just pop up a full-screen non-dismissable modal that doesn't allow them to continue without accepting it.

  • You can only collect data for legitimate purposes Just because someone's willing to give you data doesn't mean you're allowed to take it. One of my biggest headaches I got around GDPR was when a client wanted to gate some white papers behind an email signup. I patiently explained multiple times that you can't require an email address for a good or service unless the email address was required to provide said good or service. No matter how many times the client insisted that he had seen someone else doing the same thing, I stood firm and refused to build the illegal interaction.

  • Users have the right to ask for the data you have stored, and to have it deleted Users can ask to see what data you have stored on them, and you're required to provide it (including, again, why you have that data stored). And, unless it's being used for legitimate processing purposes, you have to delete that data if the user requests it (the "right to be forgotten").

And all of this applies to any organization or company that provides a good or service to any person in the EU. Not just paid, either – it explicitly says that you do not have to charge money to be covered under the GDPR. So if your org has an app in the App Store that can be downloaded in Ireland, Italy, France or any other EU country, it and likely a lot more of your company's services will fall under GDPR.

As for enforcement, organizations can be fined up to €20 million, or up to 4% of the annual worldwide turnover of the preceding financial year, whichever is greater. Amazon Europe got docked €746 million for what was alleged "[manipulation of] customers for commercial means by choosing what advertising and information they receive[d]" based on the processing of personal data. Meta was fined a quarter of a billion dollars a few different times.

But it's not just the big companies. A translation firm got hit with fines of €20K for "excessive video surveillance of employees" (a fine that's practically unthinkable in the US absent cameras in a private area such as the bathroom), and a retailer in Belgium had to pay €10K for forcing users to submit an ID card to create a loyalty account (since that information was not necessary to creating a loyalty account).

Digital Markets Act

The next wave of regulation to hit the tech world was the Digital Markets Act. which is aimed specifically at large corporations that serve a “gatekeeping functionality” in digital markets in at least three EU countries. Although it is not broadly applicable, it will change the way that several major platforms will work with their data.

The directive’s goal is to break up the oversized share that some platforms have in digital sectors like search, e-commerce, travel, media streaming, and more. When a platform controls sufficient traffic in a sector, and facilitates sales between businesses and users, it must comply with new regulations about how data is provisioned and protected.

Specifically, those companies must:

  • Allow third parties to interoperate with their services

  • Allow businesses to access the data generated on the platform

  • Provide advertising partners with the tools and data necessary to independently verify claims

  • Allow business users to promote and conduct business outside of the platform

Additionally, the gatekeepers cannot:

  • Promote internal services and products over third parties

  • Prevent consumers from linking up with businesses off their platforms

  • Prevent users from uninstalling preinstalled software

  • Track end users for the purpose of targeted advertising without users’ consent

If it seems like these are aimed at the Apple App Store and Google Play Store, well, congrats, you cracked the code. The DMA aims to help businesses have a fairer environment in which to operate (and not be completely beholden to the gatekeepers), and allow for smaller companies to innovate without being hampered or outright squashed by established interests.

US regulations

The US regulatory environment is a patchwork of laws and regulations written in response to various incidents, and with little forethought for the regulatory environment as a whole. It’s what allows you as a developer to say, “Well, that depends …” in response to almost any question, to buy yourself time to research the details.

HIPAA

Likely the most well-known US privacy regulation, HIPAA covers almost none of the things that most people commonly think it does. We'll start with the name: Most think it's HIPPA, for Health Information Privacy Protection Act. It actually stands for Healthcare Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, because most of the law has nothing to do with privacy.

It is very much worth noting that HIPAA only applies to health plans, health care clearinghouses, and those health care providers that transmit health information electronically in connection with certain administrative or financial transactions where health plan claims are submitted electronically. It also applies to contractors and subcontractors of the above.

That means most of the time when people publicly refuse to comment on someone's health status because of HIPAA (like, in a sports context or something), it's nonsense. They're not required to disclose it, but it's almost certainly not HIPAA that's preventing them from doing so.

What is relevant to us as developers is the HIPAA Privacy Rule. The HIPAA privacy rule claims to "give patients more control over their health information, set boundaries on the use of their health records, establish appropriate safeguards for the privacy of their information."

What it does in practice is require that you have to sign a HIPAA disclosure form for absolutely every medical interaction you have (and note, unlike GDPR, that they do not have to let you say "no"). Organizations are required to keep detailed compliance policies around how your information is stored and accessed. While the latter is undoubtedly a good thing, it does not rise to the level of reverence indicated by its stated goals.

What you as a developer need to know about HIPAA is you need to have very specific policies (think SOC II [official link] [more useful link]) around data access, operate using the principle of least privileged access (only allow those who need to see PHI to be able to access it), and specific security policies related to the physical facility where the data is stored.

HIPAA’s bottom line is that you must keep safe Protected Health Information (PHI), which covers both basic forms of personally identifiable information (PII) such as name, email, address, etc., as well as any health conditions those people might have. This seems like a no-brainer, but it can get tricky when you get to things like disease- or medicine-specific marketing (if you’re sending an email to someone’s personal email address on a non-HIPAA-compliant server about a prostate cancer drug, are you disclosing their illness? Ask your lawyer!).

There are also pretty stringent requirements related to breach notifications (largely true of a lot of the compliance audits as well). These are not things you want to sweep under the rug. It’s true that HIPAA does not see many enforcement acts around the privacy aspects as some of the other, jazzier regulations. But health organizations also tend to err on the side of caution and use HIPAA-certified hosting and tech stacks, as any medical provider will be sure to complain about to you if you ask them how they enjoy their Electronic Medical Records system.

Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act

Also known as the legal underpinnings of the modern internet, Section 230 provides that "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider."

In practice, this means that platforms that publish user-generated content (UGC) will not be treated as the "publisher," in the legal sense, of that content for the purposes of liability for libel, etc. This does not mean they are immune from copyright or other criminal liabilities but does provide a large measure of leeway in offering UGC to the masses.

It's also important to note the title of the section, "Protection for private blocking and screening of offensive material." That's because Section 230 explicitly allows for moderation of private services without exposing the provider to any liability for failing to do so in some instances. Consider a social media site that bans Nazi content; if that site lets a few bad posts go through, it does not mean they are on the hook for those posts, at least legally speaking. Probably a good idea to fix the errors lest they be found guilty in the court of public opinion, though.

GLBA

The Graham-Leach-Biley Act is a sort of privacy protection policy for financial institutions. It doesn’t lay out anything particular novel or onerous - financial institutions need to provide a written privacy policy (what data is collected, how it’s used, how to opt-out), and provides some guidelines companies need to meet about safeguarding sensitive customer information. The most interesting, to me, requirement is Pretext Protection, which actually enshrines in law that companies need to have policies in place for how to prevent and mitigate social engineering attacks, both of the phishing variety as well as good old-fashioned impersonation.

COPPA

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule (COPPA, and yes, it’s infuriating that the acronym doesn’t match the name) is one of the few regulations with teeth, largely because it is hyperfocused on children, an area of lawmaking where overreaction is somewhat common.

COPPA provides for a number of (now) common-sense rules governing digital interactions that companies can have with children under 13 years old. Information can only be collected with:

  • Explicit parental consent.

  • Separate privacy policies must be drafted and posted for data about those under 13.

  • A reasonable means for parents to review their children's data.

  • Establish and maintain procedures for protecting that data, including around sharing that data.

  • Limits on retention of that data.

  • Prohibiting companies from asking for more data than is necessary to provide the service in question.

Sound weirdly familiar, like GDPR? Sure does. Wondering why only children in the US are afforded such protections? Us too!

FERPA

The Family Educational Rights Protection Act is sort of like HIPAA, but for education. Basically, it states that the parents of a child have a right to the information collected about their child by the school, and to have a say in the release of said information (within reason; they can't squash a subpoena or anything). When the child reaches 18, those rights transfer to the student. Most of FERPA comes down to the same policy generation around retention and access discussed in the section on HIPAA, though the disclosure bit is far more protective (again, because it's dealing with children).

FTC Act

The Federal Trade Commission Act of 1914 is actually the law that created the Federal Trade Commission, and the source of its power. You can think of the FTC as a quasi-consumer protection agency, because it can (and, depending on the political party in the presidency, will) go after companies for what aren't even really violations of law so much as they are deemed "unfair." The FTC Act empowers the commission to prevent unfair competition, as well as protect consumers from unfair/deceptive ads (though in practice, this has been watered down considerably by the courts).

Nevertheless, of late the FTC has been on a roll, specifically targeting digital practices. An excellent recent example was the settlement by Epic Games, makers of Fortnite. The FTC sued over a number of allegations, including violations of COPPA, but it also explicitly called out the company for using dark patterns to trick players into making purchases. The company’s practice of saving any credit cards used (and then making that card available to the kids playing), confusing purchasing prompts and misleading offers were specifically mentioned in the complaint.

CAN-SPAM

Quite possibly the most useless technology law on the books, CAN-SPAM (Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography And Marketing Act) clearly put more time into the acronym than the legislation. The important takeaways are that emails need:

  • Accurate subjects

  • To disclose themselves as an ad

  • Unsubscribe links

  • A physical address for the company

And as your spam box will tell you, it solved the problem forever. This does not, however, mean you can ignore its strictures! As a consultant at a company that presumably wishes to stay on the right side of the law, you should still follow its instructions.

CCPA and Its Ilk

The California Consumer Privacy Act covers, as its name suggests, California residents in their dealings with technology companies. Loosely based on the GDPR, CCPA requires that businesses disclose what information they have about you and what they do with it. It covers items such as name, social security number, email address, records of products purchased, internet browsing history, geolocation data, fingerprints, and inferences from other personal information that could create a profile about your preferences and characteristics.

It is not as wide-reaching or thorough as GDPR, but it’s better than the (nonexistent) national privacy law.

The CCPA applies to companies with gross revenues totaling more than $25 million, businesses with information about more than 50K California residents, or businesses who derive at least 50% of their annual revenue from selling California residents’ data. There are similar measures that have already been made law in Connecticut, Virginia, Colorado, and Utah, as well as other states also considering relevant bills.

Other state regulations

The joy of the United States’ federalist system is that state laws can be different (and sometimes more stringent!) than federal law, as we see with CCPA. It would behoove you to do a little digging into the state regulations when you’re working with specific areas — e.g., background checks, where the laws differ from state to state, as even though you’re not based there, you may be subject to its jurisdiction.

There are two different approaches companies can take to dealing with state regulations: Either treat everyone under the strictest regulatory approach (e.g., treat every user like they’re from California) or make specific carve-outs based on the state of residence claimed by the user.

It is not uncommon, for example, to have three or four different disclosures or agreements for background checks ready to show a user based on what state they reside in. The specific approach you choose will vary greatly depending on the type of business, the information being collected, and the relevant state laws.

A single-image version with the regulations we spoke about grouped under their headers (e.g., Education has FERPA)

How to implement

Data compliance is critical, and the punitive aspects of GDPR’s enforcement means your team must have a solid strategy for compliance.

The most important aspect of dealing with any regulatory issue is first knowing what’s required for your business. Yes, you’re collecting emails, but to what end? If that data is necessary for your business to function, then you have your base-level requirements.

Matching those up against the relevant regulations will provide you with a starting point from which you can begin to develop the processes, procedures and applications that will allow your business to thrive. Don’t rely on “that’s how we’ve always done it” or “we’ve seen other people do x” as a business strategy.

The regulatory environment is constantly shifting, and it’s important to both keep abreast of changes as well as always knowing what data and services are integral to your business’s success. Keeping up with the prevalent standards will aid you not only in not getting sued, but also ensuring your companies that you’re a trustworthy and reliable partner.

How to keep up

It all seems a little daunting, no?

But you eat the proverbial regulatory elephant the same way you do any other large food item: one bite at a time. In the same way you didn’t become an overnight expert in securing your web applications against cross-site scripting attacks or properly manage your memory overhead, becoming a developer who’s well-versed in regulatory environments is a gradual process.

Now that you know about some of the rules that may apply to you, you know what to keep an eye out for. You know potential areas to research when new projects are pitched or started, and you know where to ask questions. You know to both talk to and listen to your company’s legal team when they start droning on about legalistic terms